The Endless Spiral of Self-Doubt

We are used to it, we don’t know anything else. We get constantly reminded of the big and small socio-economic and private difficulties that we have ahead of us. Professionally you should specialise today,  as soon as possible, you need to know it before high school is over although at best you should know your specialisation at Kinder garden. And naturally, it is equally important to remain flexible and with no ties. One should get kids to reach your individual happiness, and also to contribute to the future GDP of your country but only if you have “something” to offer your kids – Travel, exceptional education, a couple of eccentric hobbies – otherwise it is again not fair. And although of course there is a list of things “you should have done” there is no ONE WAY TO HAPPINESS.

Nothing is sure or can be taken for granted, and this is not only referring to the situation of the global markets. Our acquisitive power and the safety of the social security we pay today cannot be trusted either. What is great love? Shall I get a credit? Is there a life after all the temping I have to do?

Today there is an infinite number of articles and publications of sorts that want to address my generation and they keep bringing the same questions. They all want to talk about what other generations want to call our “Luxury problems”, and here is a small list of the different fears that entrap us day by day: 

  • Fear of missing something vs. fear of losing something.
  • Fear of studying the wrong major vs. fear of becoming a drop out.
  • Fear of life after university vs. fear of staying too long in university.
  • Fear of screwing up your life if you don’t get a prestigious MBA vs. fear of realizing it would have been better to live simple.
  • Fear of getting the wrong job vs. Fear not getting any job.
  • Fear of talking to much vs. Fear of not saying enough.
  • Fear of not being liked vs. Fear of not being noticed at all.
  • Fear of your next job to be temporary vs. Fear of not getting any employment at all.
  • Fear of working too much vs. Fear of working too little.
  • Fear of falling into too many routines vs. Fear of being completely random.
  • Fear of the challenge vs. Fear of not getting challenged at all.
  • Fear of moving vs. Fear of never catching a next plane.
  • Fear of failure vs. Fear of success.
  • Fear to follow “the system” vs. Fear of having too much fun.
  • Fear of getting a burn out vs. Fear of getting a bore out.
  • Fear of all increasing costs of living vs. Fear of negotiating a salary vs. Fear of never having to negotiate a salary.
  • Fear of setting down vs. Fear of getting too settled.
  • Fear of financial dependence vs. Fear of financial independence.
  • Fear of becoming a parent vs. Fear of never getting kids.
  • Fear of becoming like our parents vs. Fear of never achieving what they did.
  • Fear of becoming “spoiled” vs. Fear of never buying an own home.
  • Fear of wasting time vs. Fear of never having done it.
  • Fear of all porn everyone seems to watch vs. Fear of being perceived as “stuck up” because you think they are rubbish.
  • Fear of becoming “an easy one” vs. Fear of not being sexy.
  • Fear of being left vs. Fear of “it becoming boring”.
  • Fear of being perceived as a coward vs. Fear of behaving like a jerk.
  • Fear of being rejected vs. Fear of missing true love.
  • Fear of failing vs. Fear of never trying.
  • Fear of global warming, of oil spilling in the sea. Fear of floods, fear of hunger in the world. Fear of travelling becoming so expensive.
  • Fear of becoming a grown up vs. Fear of never growing up.

All this fear paints the endless spiral of self doubt. The global bad feeling in which no one knows what is going to happen or what should.

The luxury of these problems is not in discussion, but they remain in what we consider “essential” and yet they differ from what it is essential. And politically or practically they have no solution. They are problems that make their owners very real and seem very needy and that naturally are answered simply by many people. What is true love, when is it coming? No one knows. Take a credit and be happy that you can get one. And honestly, a temporary job is better than living from the taxes of others. Some people call us crying babies. Are we?

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1 Comment

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One response to “The Endless Spiral of Self-Doubt

  1. Anna

    Very true. Consider reading “feel the fear…and do it anyway” by susan jeffers about that topic. She has some marvelous insides in how to tackle our fears and that at the end, everything is going to be fine.

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